Be Caring. Be Careful. Don’t Be Careless: How Care Builds (or Breaks) Trust at Work
Trust isn’t a “soft” skill — it’s the hidden infrastructure of every healthy, high-performing workplace. It determines how we communicate, collaborate, and cope with change.
In my workshops on Transactional and Relational Trust, this is often the moment when leaders lean forward — when they realize trust isn’t just a feeling, it’s something we build and maintain through actions.
And that’s where this model comes in: Be Caring. Be Careful. Don’t Be Careless.
Research consistently shows the impact of trust on performance. Deloitte found that when trust is high, eight in ten employees feel motivated to work — compared to fewer than three in ten who don’t. And despite global skepticism toward institutions, Edelman’s research shows that 78% of people still trust their employer.
"The real challenge? “Only one in five U.S. employees say they strongly trust their organization’s leadership”
That’s where relational trust — the kind built through caring — becomes essential.
Understanding the Two Types of Trust
Before we get into the 3 ways of caring, it helps to understand the two main kinds of trust we navigate every day:
Transactional Trust — built on capability and integrity. It answers the question: Can you do what you said you would do, and will you do it ethically?
Relational Trust — built on care. It answers a deeper question: Do you genuinely value me, and can I rely on your goodwill when things get tough?
Both types are critical. Transactional trust creates reliability; relational trust creates belonging. When you have both, teams move faster, communicate better, and experience far less burnout.
1. Be Caring – Build Trust
Caring builds trust by showing genuine concern for people and what matters to them.
It’s about being curious, noticing, and valuing others as humans — not just roles or results.
Leaders who practice caring behaviors:
Ask questions that show genuine interest.
Recognize effort, not just outcomes.
Support colleagues through both success and struggle.
This kind of care builds psychological safety and makes people feel seen, which fuels both performance and well-being.
2. Be Careful – Maintain Trust
Being careful maintains trust. It’s about respecting boundaries, being intentional, and handling what others care about with sensitivity.
When we’re careful, we:
Protect confidential information.
Follow through on promises.
Stay aware of how our actions ripple through the team.
Carefulness says, “I respect what’s important to you.” It sustains trust even under stress or change — the moments that test teams most.
3. Don’t Be Careless – Protect Trust
Carelessness destroys trust faster than almost anything else. It might not come from bad intent — but from distraction, overconfidence, or emotional exhaustion.
When we’re careless, we:
Dismiss what others value.
Miss cues that someone’s struggling.
Let our words or actions cause unintended harm.
Avoiding carelessness is about awareness and humility — recognizing that people’s trust is earned daily, not granted permanently.
Care Is the Foundation of Relational Trust
To do these well, we must understand people — their values, priorities, and the things that truly matter to them.
That’s what turns care from a feeling into a leadership capability.
Relational trust isn’t built in a single act. It’s woven from many small, caring choices over time — in how we listen, respond, and show up for one another.
Why It Matters
Leaders who intentionally build relational trust report:
Higher employee engagement and retention.
Greater team efficiency and collaboration.
Healthier workplace cultures where people can thrive.
Because when trust is strong, people don’t waste energy on fear, second-guessing, or self-protection. They put that energy into doing meaningful work — together.
Reflection
Think about your own work community:
Where could you be more caring, more careful, or less careless?
And how might that shift the trust and energy in your team?
🌐 Want to go deeper?
My view on trust has been shaped by research across disciplines:
Relational Trust (Bryk & Schneider, Psychology)
Social Capital Theory (Putnam, Bourdieu, Coleman, Sociology)
Symbolic Interactionism (Blumer, Sociology)
Micro-affirmations & Micro-aggressions (Mary Rowe, Organizational Behavior)
Nudge Theory (Thaler & Sunstein, Behavioral Economics)
Social Exchange Theory (Homans, Blau, Social Psychology)
Together, these frameworks show why care — in its many forms — is central to how trust is built, maintained, or lost.
About Jim Moss
Jim Moss is an executive, researcher, and keynote speaker who helps leaders strengthen trust, community, and well-being at work. Drawing on decades of experience and research in psychology, sociology, and behavioral science, Jim teaches practical frameworks for building healthier, more human organizations. Learn more at TheSmileCEO.com.
He often collaborates with Jennifer Moss, award-winning author of The Burnout Epidemic and Why Are We Here, to help organizations balance performance with well-being.